these pictures don't have the best lighting, they were taken with a self timer on my husband's camera that happened to be laying next to me, and they aren't staged whatsoever.
but these are the simple moments that collect dust in our busy minds, that pile and pile up like old photos in a shoebox on a shelf. these are the fleeting moments that pass by unnoticed until they make up a life.
this evening I nursed Ever as she was still dreaming (of milk, apparently, because I was holding her as she was looking for it) in her last nap of the day. she woke up when we finished nursing and was acting fussy, falling in and out of sleep as I burped her. I tried to entertain her for a while and eventually decided to nurse her again when she wasn't havin' it anymore.
she finished, and we didn't move. we just lay there, perfectly content staring deeply into each other's eyes. studying each other's faces as if we were seeing something new. as if we were the only souls in the world. this girl who is usually flailing her arms and legs like a madwoman, was completely still.
I pat her back and tickled it a little as she continued to gaze at her mama. and I was tempted to grab my phone to take a picture of her cute face, so I would never forget the way she was looking at me. but no photo could capture the beauty and the stillness and the bond and the love in that moment. sometimes I have to remind myself to just be there, not obsessively trying to document everything.
after a few minutes, her blinks got longer and her eyelids heavier, and as we lay there staring at each other, she fell asleep. something in my eyes told her she was safe.
I took these pictures after she fell asleep, because even though a photo couldn't capture any of it, I never want to forget. I don't want this one to be another photo in a shoebox on a shelf.