motherhood
Oh boy, was it chilly in Utah. I've already climatized to California weather, so we were freezing, even though it really wasn't that cold.
We had some time before travelling to my granparents' house for thanksgiving, so we threw on our Kortni Jeane swimsuits and went for a swim in my parents' tub.
Read MoreContentment.
Something I struggle with more than anything else. In this age of social media, I'm constantly comparing my life to the lives of those on Instagram.
"I wish we had our own home."
"I wish I could buy Ever all those cute expensive clothes."
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Coming into marriage, I had a lot of expectations. Like most of us. Expectations that I didn't know I had. Like how he was going to let me win every argument. And how he would think it's cute when I give him attitude. And how he would always go out of his way to make me feel pampered (which is true but not always.)
Read MoreTeething has hit us hard over here the past few days. Crying. All day. Wanting to be held. Then wanting to be put down. Then crying because I put her down. I'm exhausted, as I'm sure she is too. I can't imagine the pain she's in.
Last night she woke up more than usual, and wouldn't nurse back to sleep like she normally does. Only once or twice I was able to get her to nurse, all the other times she woke up she just needed to be pat back to sleep or if that didn't work I let her lay there and she eventually fell back asleep. But she was obviously uncomfortable and in pain.
Read MoreI gained 37 pounds during pregnancy. Which, I understand, is not a ton, but it was 37 pounds that my body was not used to. I felt huge. I felt tired. I felt slow. And most of all, I felt ugly. And then the stretch marks came because of that extra weight (plus my uterus apparently is suuuuper forward. I was huge. And had a 6lb baby), and I was devastated. All over my belly, my inner thighs, hips, boobs, you name it. I honestly thought I would never be happy with my body ever again. I looked up pictures online of women's bellies with stretch marks postpartum and cried thinking of what mine would look like. Then I looked up pictures of women with stretch marks that had six packs and felt even more discouraged because I have too much of a sweet tooth to ever look like that. So I thought my bikini wearing days were over.
Read MoreMom life. The hardest and best job I've ever had. And even though it's 24/7, I never get a break, and I'm highly underpaid, it's so worth it. This shirt by To: Little Arrows sums it up perfectly. "So cool. So crazy. So worth it. Mom life."
Read MoreSaturday morning loungin' with some watermelon water that tasted of summer (that Ever desperately wanted to try).
Another thing that has me so ready for summer is this dress from Pink Blush. Pink Blush is an online women's boutique. They're known for their maternity wear, but they have non maternity items too, and this dress happens to double as both. It's also nursing friendly, despite the high neck, because the arm holes are stretchy enough to pull open for easy access.
Ever was so fascinated by all the plant life.
She kept screaming at the plant.
Bring on the summer!
"Which stroller should we pick, Evvie?"
Okay, I so wish I knew about Gugu Guru when I was pregnant. It would have saved me a lot of stress and confusion. I had no idea what to register for so I registered for EVERYTHING. Actually three of everything, just in case. And I changed my registry about ten times, too.
Gugu Guru is a new baby registry website that makes unbiased, personalized product recommendations based on your lifestyle and personal style. Upon signing up, you take a fun quiz to let Gugu Guru know about your lifestyle, the clothing and decor styles you like, and your product preferences.
Step one:
You let them know your style. I obviously gravitate towards COMFORTABLE.
Next, your baby's style.
I think Ever needs everything seen here.
Then, your nursery style.
Once you've finished the style quiz, you're going to let them know a little bit about your preferences.
Then some lifestyle questions.
And voila! Your preferences are recorded and it takes you to the products. They give you a "perfect match" product recommendation so you can pick and choose to create your own personal baby registry.
No searching website after website to find what you're looking for, then adding the link into your registry, Gugu Guru makes suggestions for you and you choose from there. The products they recommend aren't only the top, name brand items, either. They will recommend those classic brands, but also new undiscovered brands and etsy treasures as well.
BUT, if they don't happen to have a product that you're dying to have on your registry, there's an option to add the URL yourself.
Also, a fun new tool that they added is the Gugu Concierge.
This is a personal shopping service where REAL people search high and low for the perfect products for you. I, for one, get so overwhelmed with all the options out there for the simplest things, and who needs any extra stress when you're pregnant? This service takes that burden off your shoulders and places it on a professional burden-holder/personal shopper/lifesaver. And there are 3 different packages you can choose from.
Overall, Gugu Guru would have been a lifesaver in my pregnancy. Now that Ever is here, though, I can still send my friends and family the link to my registry when they ask what we still need. As she grows, I'm always coming up with new things that she needs. And instead of stressing myself out by trying to research every detail of every product, I'll let Gugu Guru do the work for me.
This month I feel like she changed so much, like every day she did something new. She's becoming much more aware and responsive, and her little personality is starting to show. She knows when we leave the room now, and cries until we return. She doesn't like laying down, but wants to be sitting or standing. She's super strong, can sit up straight by herself if she's in the Boppy or Bumbo, but can only balance for a second on her own. She loves to stand. She's becoming more interested in what we eat and drink. She thinks when I drink coffee and water, especially, it's the most fascinating thing in the world. She's getting better at naps, doesn't fight them as much. But she's still not sleeping through the night (she half wakes up for feedings then falls right back asleep) because we co-sleep. She loves to be naked, and she loves to be worn and carried everywhere. She wants to be a part of everything. She's intentionally grabbing things within her reach and eye shot, and, of course, trying to put them in her mouth. She has gotten much better about her carseat, but she tries to sit up and gets frustrated when she cant. Also, she enjoys her stroller now much more if she's facing out to see things, and if we don't put the shoulder straps on her (miss independent). She knows where her milk comes from, because as soon as I start "setting up" to feed her, she calms down and opens her mouth (haha). I'm going to hold off on feeding her solids until I think she's ready, when she becomes more interested in what we're eating.
I love this stage she's in. Before, I got so sad with each milestone but now I find so much joy in watching her learn and grow.
Now, for the all photo highlights from the month (click to enlarge):
these pictures don't have the best lighting, they were taken with a self timer on my husband's camera that happened to be laying next to me, and they aren't staged whatsoever.
but these are the simple moments that collect dust in our busy minds, that pile and pile up like old photos in a shoebox on a shelf. these are the fleeting moments that pass by unnoticed until they make up a life.
this evening I nursed Ever as she was still dreaming (of milk, apparently, because I was holding her as she was looking for it) in her last nap of the day. she woke up when we finished nursing and was acting fussy, falling in and out of sleep as I burped her. I tried to entertain her for a while and eventually decided to nurse her again when she wasn't havin' it anymore.
she finished, and we didn't move. we just lay there, perfectly content staring deeply into each other's eyes. studying each other's faces as if we were seeing something new. as if we were the only souls in the world. this girl who is usually flailing her arms and legs like a madwoman, was completely still.
I pat her back and tickled it a little as she continued to gaze at her mama. and I was tempted to grab my phone to take a picture of her cute face, so I would never forget the way she was looking at me. but no photo could capture the beauty and the stillness and the bond and the love in that moment. sometimes I have to remind myself to just be there, not obsessively trying to document everything.
after a few minutes, her blinks got longer and her eyelids heavier, and as we lay there staring at each other, she fell asleep. something in my eyes told her she was safe.
I took these pictures after she fell asleep, because even though a photo couldn't capture any of it, I never want to forget. I don't want this one to be another photo in a shoebox on a shelf.
