I never want to forget

March 30, 2016 in motherhood

these pictures don't have the best lighting, they were taken with a self timer on my husband's camera that happened to be laying next to me, and they aren't staged whatsoever.

but these are the simple moments that collect dust in our busy minds, that pile and pile up like old photos in a shoebox on a shelf. these are the fleeting moments that pass by unnoticed until they make up a life.

this evening I nursed Ever as she was still dreaming (of milk, apparently, because I was holding her as she was looking for it) in her last nap of the day. she woke up when we finished nursing and was acting fussy, falling in and out of sleep as I burped her. I tried to entertain her for a while and eventually decided to nurse her again when she wasn't havin' it anymore.

she finished, and we didn't move. we just lay there, perfectly content staring deeply into each other's eyes. studying each other's faces as if we were seeing something new. as if we were the only souls in the world. this girl who is usually flailing her arms and legs like a madwoman, was completely still.

I pat her back and tickled it a little as she continued to gaze at her mama. and I was tempted to grab my phone to take a picture of her cute face, so I would never forget the way she was looking at me. but no photo could capture the beauty and the stillness and the bond and the love in that moment. sometimes I have to remind myself to just be there, not obsessively trying to document everything.

after a few minutes, her blinks got longer and her eyelids heavier, and as we lay there staring at each other, she fell asleep. something in my eyes told her she was safe.

I took these pictures after she fell asleep, because even though a photo couldn't capture any of it, I never want to forget. I don't want this one to be another photo in a shoebox on a shelf.

mama + me sweat sesh

March 23, 2016 in favorite products, fitness

It's no surprise that new moms have a hard time getting to the gym. You have to find a babysitter, have enough stored milk if you're nursing, be struck by anxiety every second you're gone, etc etc etc. So I put my thinking cap on and came up with a few workout you can do at home using your baby. The good news: the bigger your baby, the better your workout! 12 pounds gets real heavy real fast. As always, listen to your body. If something hurts, don't do it, or check your form.

10 minute mama + me sweat sesh

1. Plank to Down Dog

Starting from a plank position, kiss your babe on the forehead, then draw your hips up into a downward dog and kiss your babe on the belly. Reapeat 15X, tightening the core the entire time.

2. V-Ups

Sitting on your sacrum, the spot between the sit bones and tailbone, lean back far enough to feel gravity forcing your abs to engage, toes on the floor. Then, lift the toes and torso at the same time. Repeat 20X.

For stronger babies, you can hold their hands to give yourself a bigger range of motion.

3. The Russian Twist

Staying on the sacrum, abs engaged, twist left and tap your baby's toes on the floor, then do the same to the right. Right and left is one rep, do 20 reps total.

For an extra challenge, try lifting your toes off the floor and balancing.

4. Plie Squat

Starting in a wide second position, heels in toes out, lower into a squat, keeping your knees tracking over your toes, tailbone tucked, chest high, and hips right between your knees.

Then, straighten and raise your babe above your head.

5. Standing Twists

Staying in a nice low plie, core engaged, twist your baby to the right and left.

6. Inner Thigh Lifts

Laying down on your side, one leg extended, the other crossed in front. Flex the extended leg's foot then lift and lower.

Hold at the highest point the pulse up. Repeat each step 20X.

7. Tabletop Glutes

Starting on your hands and knees, toes pointed, lift and lower the leg straight to the back. Here you can experiment with pulses, tiny circle, extending and bending while flexing the hamstring, and so on. Also try bringing a bent knee directly to the side (think dog peeing on a fire hydrant) and repeating the same exercise.

8. The Pushup: Tricep version

On your knees or on your toes, make sure you're keeping the correct pushup form. Lower, keeping the biceps close into your sides, elbows going straight back, kiss your baby, and lift.

9. Stretch it out

Whatever feels good, make sure to stretch out the muscles you worked to avoid a bulky look (unless that's what you're going for).

My outfit: Beyond Yoga

Ever's outfit: June Park

mom style // Eva Jo Rompers

March 21, 2016 in favorite products, style

This post is the first of a series I'm super excited about! I'll be highlighting different pieces from different brands that I've found that are perfect for a nursing mama.

After I had Ever, it didn't take long to realize that over half of my wardrobe wouldn't work for nursing, and every day I'm frustrated because I have nothing to wear. Of course, you can pull any shirt up, but that's just annoying because it falls back down as you're trying to feed. I much prefer something I can pull down, with easy and quick access.

So, today I'm highlighting this amazing romper, The Sylvie by Eva Jo Rompers

First of all, have you even seen this gorgeous color before?? I'm in love. And all the other color choices they have are gorgeous too!

Second, it feels like I'm wearing pjs. The fabric is heaven. So so soft and comfortable. I definitely see myself wearing this every week, if not multiple times a week. If not everyday...

Third, it's nursing friendly, of course, without being intended for nursing. There's a snap in the front for easy access to those milk makers. Mama's happy because she's not fussing trying to pull a t shirt up or a collar down and baby's happy because she doesn't have to wait very long to get what she wants!

And fourth, it's super versatile. I'm wearing sandals in these pictures, but it can so easily be dressed up with a pair of cute heels, or dressed down with some converse or birks.

Not a mama? Fret not. They have plenty of other rompers to choose from that are just as cute, comfy, and versatile. Support small business and shop small!

If you're a small business and think your products would be perfect for this series, contact me at letterstoeverjoy@gmail.com, I'd love to collab with you!

three months of Ever Joy

March 19, 2016

I know every single mom in the universe says this, but how is she already 3 months old?!

I mean, 1 month... okay, I wasn't too upset. That's still brand new. 2 months, same thing. Not a huge deal. But 3 months! That seems like a whole new milestone. No longer a newborn. Sizing up in all her clothes. Learning new things every day.

I've found so much joy in watching her see the world with such awe and wonder. Oh, to have the innocent eyes of a child. Everything and everyone is beautiful. To them, there is no evil in the world, only places to explore, colors and patterns to see, delicious fingers to eat. Everything is new and exciting in their eyes. She is literally a sponge, soaking up every thing she lays her eyes on. I love the way her eyes scan her surroundings no matter where we are, never a blank stare. She's constantly observing. Constantly learning. I hope she never loses that.

Sometimes I get a little scared being a mom. While nursing tonight I began praying for her and the life ahead of her. And I realized, I'm so not fit to be her mom. I'm not qualified to be the steward over her life. I'm responsible for raising her up in the ways of the Lord, in truth and in grace and in love. I must lead by example, but how am I supposed to do that when the person I am is so much less that who I want her to be? It must be the Lord in me. In order for me to love her completely and purely, I must first be so filled with God's love that it can't help but overflow out of me into her.

Anyway, enough rambling (eye roll emoji), here's some things about our 3 month old Ever Joy:

Ever has started to open her hands more. She's started to intentionally reach for things and grab on with a death grip. She's discovering different ways to use her voice daily, and it's getting louder and louder. She's getting quite the set of rolls on her arms and legs. Her hair is getting lighter, and her eyes seem to be set in a nice brownish green color. We love every inch of her perfect little high maintenance self.

Loves:

HER FINGERS.
Getting her diaper changed
Kicking her legs like a madwoman
Smiling. Smiling's her favorite.
Being distracted by our tales of going to the zoo when we put her in the carseat
When I sing the song "A Penny A Kiss"
Baths. Until we wash her hair.
Going outside
Attention
Strangers
being naked
baby-wearing
Trader Joes
Phones and TVs

Hates:

Her carseat. Still. But it's getting a little better.
Being held in a rocking position
clothes
being hot
going to sleep
when daddy kisses her with his scruffy face
her stroller
getting her hair washed
shopping for clothes with mama
letting mama make dinner

meal planning and budgeting for dummies (like me)

March 18, 2016

I am not a chef.

I survived in college off Mac n cheese and cereal. It's true. So when all I cooked our first year of marriage was pasta and made turkey sandwiches, my husband, who comes from Hispanic culture, was quite dismayed. He thought all wives magically knew how to cook elaborate meals the second they said "I do".

It took me a year, some heavy nesting instincts, getting my work hours cut by over half, and finally having a dishwasher, to get my wife act together and start meal planning and cooking for my poor husband.

At the time, i became a professional meal planner. We were budgeting $60/week for groceries from Trader Joes, and hardly eating out at all.

All the way up until i gave birth. Then it all went downhill. The other day I cooked myself eggs for breakfast and I realized that was the first time in the almost 3 months since Ever was born. I don't know how we've survived the past 3 months, honestly. I don't even know what we've been eating. But we're alive. And we made it through the hardest part of having a new baby. And I finally feel like things are turning into a new normal, and I can get back into the swing of being a wife and not just a mom.

$60/week will stay the budget, and I'm going to share a couple tips on how we make that work.

First of all, I owe my meal planning "expertise" (not at all expertise, really) to my sister. She is literally the meal planning expert. She taught me how to meal plan and from there I adapted it into what works best for us. She loves cooking and experimenting with recipes and making them healthier, so naturally she's the one I turned to when I was starting my venture.

She's started her own meal planning business, and I'm telling you, it's gonna be worth every penny. Most people, like me, don't know where to start or have the time to meal plan. A service like this will save money in the long run, cut down on food waste, help those who want to eat healthier, and save lots of time. Also it's different than a meal planning service you can find on the Internet. It's personalized to your specific goals and needs and you will have direct support and contact with her. Along with access to her knowledge, experience, and personal favorite recipes, unlike online meal planners. I encourage you to check out her blog here and show her lots of love. I look up to her so much for her self motivation and dedication to health, and not only because she's my big sister.

All that to say... Here's how we survived on a $60/week grocery budget:

What's still in the fridge? Before planning anything, I checked the fridge and pantry to see what we still had and what needed to be thrown away. The things that were still good, and could last another week, I made a list. Then I planned meal around those things. If I had leftover pesto, I made sure to plan a meal that included pesto so it didn't go to waste.
Two birds with one stone. Use the same ingredients for multiple meals. Meat is one of the most expensive items. So if I was using chicken for one meal, I would try to plan a few meals with all with chicken. Because it's gonna be reeeeal expensive if you want a different type of meat for every meal.
Calculate. While walking through Trader Joes, I would have the calculator on my phone open so that I could punch in the price for everything I put in my cart. This way I wasn't adding so many unnecessary items and just guessing what the total would be. Then, if I had money left over in the budget after I got everything I needed for meals, I would go back and grab that cookie butter I passed by.

And that's my how I did it! Starting to get back into the routine and hopefully back to saving lots of money, which is never a bad thing. I may not be a chef, but I definitely know how to save money.

Washi tape to rearrange meals, if needed.

Also, I made these meal planning menus for the ladies in my family last Christmas. So I'm going to attach them here for all of you to download for free!

shakin' and shackin'

March 16, 2016

It's Jesse's day off. And we almost spent it lounging around all day, cleaning, napping. Which would have been great. BUT then our friend, Angel, told us that a Shake Shack opened in Hollywood. If you're familiar with the east coast phenomenon then you'll understand why we all got ready and hopped in the car without a second thought. Better than In N Out, and that's saying a lot, especially coming from me.

So we got our burger fix, and then fought traffic looking for the best walls to take pictures.

By then end Ever was sleeping in the car sooooo one of the three of us stayed in the car with her while the other two took pictures.

Kindred: United motherhood in your pocket

March 15, 2016

Motherhood is by far the best job, but it can be a lonely job.

For no reason in particular, it gets lonely. You would think it would be the opposite, because you're with a tiny human all day. But obviously, that tiny human can't connect with you on the level you need him/her to. I know my husband is there for me, he's always willing to listen to how I feel and offer comfort and Godly wisdom. But he still doesn't completely understand. There are so many changes happening physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually that he can't possibly understand. I can't even understand all the changes happening, so it brings on a feeling of isolation.

That's why we need each other. We're in this together, us mamas.

Too often we are so quick to judge another mom for the choices she's made in parenting. For everything it seems.

She formula feeds.

She breastfeeds in public.

She got an epidural.

She had a c-section.

She co-sleeps.

She believes in "crying it out" .

She follows a strict schedule.

She lets the baby stay up till midnight.

She uses a pacifier.

She pierced her ears.

Etc etc etc.

We don't know what we're doing so we look down on someone else to make ourselves feel more sure, more confident.

Why? This isolates us even more. We need to be united, encouraging each other in our struggles and bonding through our mutual I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing.

This is why I was so excited when I heard about the new free Kindred app.

Kindred is designed to unite mothers together, to break the trend of judgment and create a community.

Kindred's founder, Christina, says of the app, "In a nut shell Kindred will be the common place all types of moms go to meet new mom friends locally. It will suggest users to one another as mommy maybes and once both moms accept the suggestion you get a new mommy match! The suggestions will be based upon your likes, interests and children's ages to name a few things.
My vision for Kindred is to help break the isolation and hardships most women face throughout motherhood. Yes it is wonderful and amazing to be a mom but not having a local circle of friends can make it a hard and lonely journey. I also know it's REALLY awkward to try to make mom friends while out and about so I'm hoping to end that stigma as well!"

The app will be available for free download very soon, but you can sign up now on their website to get updated and start making those connections.

Also check out their Instagram and Facebook page!

Let's start a revolution of being united in motherhood and not divided, of love and encouragement. Because we all know how hard it is. And each one of us is just trying to do the best we can for those little babes that we love.

This post was sponsored by Kindred. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Baby Wearing Barre with Wildbird+Albion Fit

March 14, 2016

In preparation for teaching a baby-wearing barre class at my studio, I was on the hunt for a secure, but also cute, baby carrier that would be perfect for working out in. I connected with Tayler of Wildbird and we decided to make a video of barre exercises that you can do while wearing your baby in her slings.

We had so much fun during this shoot! Applause to my oh-so-talented and creative #instagramhusband.

If you're local to Orange County, we will be officially launching our Rock A Barre Baby class at Meraki Barre in Costa Mesa, CA on April 6. The class will be on Wednesday and Saturday at 12pm. It's going to be so much fun! Not only will you get an amazing workout that you get to bring your baby to, but its also going to be a great way to meet other moms in our community! More details are coming very very soon, but for more info now check out our IG @rockabarrebaby, and website merakibarre.com

ALSO. I will be teaching a FREE preview class at the Nike store at Fashion Island in Newport Beach on April 2 at 2:00pm. Come! And also tell all your mama friends!

But, if you're not local and happen to be super duper motivated to do these exercises by yourself without an instructor yelling at you, you can do them at home!

As always, when trying these exercises yourself, listen to your body. If something hurts, either don't do it, or check your form to make sure it's correct. I'll outline each exercise in as much detail as I can.

First, grab a chair, counter top, or anything sturdy that stands about waist level.

1. The arabesque

This is one of my favorite moves for back + butt. There's a ton of different things you can do here.

Setup: start in first position (heels together, toes out), both knees bent in a plié (making sure knees track straight over the toes, tailbone tucked, and chest lifted). Extend one leg behind, keeping it straight and turned out. In this position you can (8-10 reps each):

tap and lift: lower leg all the way down and then lift as high as you can, keeping the chest lifted and standing leg bent.
Pulse up: lifting the leg at your highest point, pulse it up in tiny movements, activating the glutes even more.
Circles: keeping the leg as high as you can, tiny circles out, then tiny circles in. It's important to keep these movements as small as possible.
Hold. As high as you can for as long as you can. Shoot for at least 30 seconds. Then straighten your standing leg and let go of your support and try to balance.

2. The plié in 1st and 2nd

Set up: 1st position, heels together, toes out. For safety, as you plie, keep your knees tracking straight over your toes, tailbone tucked.

2nd position: legs wide, toes out, heels in.

Plié and lift. Pulse. Wing your hips. Tuck your tailbone forward and back. Pulse the knees back.

2nd position. Repeat above in second position.

3. The battement

Starting from either 1st or 5th position, battement (kick) your leg to the front as high as you can without kicking your baby. Repeat to the side and to the back. Focus on keeping your chest high, back straight, abs engaged, and legs straight. This exercise is purposed to get your heart rate going, while also lengthening and strengthening your quadriceps and hip flexors.

After repeating this series a few times, try extend in the leg to the side adding some pulses upward, tiny circle forward and back, passé and extend.

4. The leaning tower of Pisa (couldn't think of another name)

This exercise engages your core as well as the quads.

Setup: toes touching and knees a little wider than your hips, keeping a tucked tailbone and plank-like position of the torso.

Slowly lower your torso toward your feet and lift back up. You can also pulse here, lowering to your lowest point then pulsing.

Twists. Keeping the correct form, twist and reach to your foot. Alternate sides.

6. Passé series

Starting from a simple first position, plie, then draw the toes up to the knee in a passé, and come back down to a plie then repeat.

In this position you can lower the heel and lift it, activating the calf muscle. Also try pulsing your heel for an intense burn.

Pretty simple, right? I mean, nothing beats a barre class where you can't give up in the middle of an exercise because you don't want to look stupid (especially as the instructor), but if you're short on time and a babysitter, these are some great simple workouts you can do anytime to boost up your energy and get rid of that mom butt (not that you have one).

And now for the pictures.

Studio: Meraki Barre

My Outift: Albion Fit

Sling: Wildbird

A Day in Dana Point

March 12, 2016

A rare Saturday off for the husband, so we drove down the PCH and spent a couple hours in Dana Point. We passed by the aquarium he used to go to as a child, then watched the high tide and huge waves. This was Ever's first time at the beach, and she loved it.

Jesse discussing the changes that had taken place since the last time he was there 23 years ago.

She'll go anywhere with us as long as she brings her fingers to suck on.

my #motherspromise

March 06, 2016

Dear Ever Joy,

I wish that I could promise you the stars and the moon. I wish I could promise you the world. I wish I could promise you a life free of trial and hardships. I wish I could promise that you'd never make a mistake. I wish I could promise you freedom from heart break. I wish I could promise you that I'll be the perfect mother.

But I can't. You will face trials in your life purposed to make you stronger. You must learn from your own mistakes. Experience the aches of a breaking heart. And you'll have to figure some things out on your own.

But what I can promise you is that I will do my best to show you the grace of the Lord. In my actions, in my words, in the way I treat your father, the way I treat you, and the way I treat myself. I will teach you grace, so that you will get a glimpse of the Father's grace and love to you that can not be matched or even close to replicated by me.

This is my #motherspromise to you, baby girl. I will hang it above your crib, then your toddler bed, then your child bed, and so on, as a constant reminder to myself and to you as you grow and change and learn and experience the joys and the sorrows of life. That I may never forget, and that you may never forget that there's not only grace from me, but more importantly, grace from above.

Here's how you can make your own:

You will need:

felt
embroidery floss
embroidery needle
scissors
string
a snack
oh, and a cute baby

1. Cut your felt into equilateral triangles. Or any shape you want.

2. Write the word you want to embroider with pen or pencil first.

3. Choose your color thread and thread your needle.

4. Embroider your words. I started out using a backstitch, but it was taking too long so I switched to a straight stitch.

5. Cut two holes at the top of each piece and string through any type of string, and hang!

This post was sponsored by Pampers Premium in partnership with Walmart.

Pampers Premium Care diapers, available at Walmart and Walmart.com, are perfect for our princess and the pea/pee! They have 5 star skin care, are hypoallergenic, have a wetness indicator, a unique absorb away liner, are breathable inside and out, and have extra absorb channels.

I encourage you to join in! What's your #motherspromise? How do you keep it in front of you so you never forget?

Old Town San Diego

March 05, 2016

This place is pretty special to us. We first came here when we were newly weds, on one of our many adventures, where we were smitten by all the picturesque walls and delicious root beer.

The second time we came here, was when I was newly pregnant. We took one picture, because in my first trimester just the thought of looking at my phone made me want to vomit. I was having a miserable time due to nausea, so we thought some ginger ale would help. I ended up getting a root beer.

Ever was the size of a raspberry in this photo.

This time, we were all here. All three of us.

We took pictures by the same picturesque walls, and went to the same little shop to get root beer and cream soda. When we parked we told Ever, "you've been here before!" And as we walked around, we reminisced on the memories of the times before. How we went into that toy store wondering if there was a baby boy or a baby girl growing inside me, and what kind of toys he/she would like. This time, that same baby girl snoozing on her daddy's chest imagining the days when she'll be playing with her little dolls in her dollhouse. How the time before that, a child was hardly at the forefront of our minds. But there we were, reliving those memories. Each time we were both slightly different people than before. Each time a little sweeter than the last.

Oh, our cousins that live in SD came to meet us.

saturday

February 27, 2016

Dear Ever Joy,

It's Saturday in February, but it feels like June. Daddy is working today, but we were able to get in a Famers Market run, where we bought nothing, before he had to leave. You fell asleep in the car and didn't wake up when we took you out and then put you back in. You're a sleepy girl today.

You were getting fussy so I nursed you back to sleep. And here we lay, on our fresh white bed. Open windows bringing in the smell of spring, the touch of a cool breeze, and the sound of Saturday happening outside. Cars zooming past, voices of parents with children, the airplanes taking off from the nearby airport. It's all so sweet. I don't want to forget any of it. Your little feet resting on my thighs. Your sleeping lips still sucking for comfort. Your open, content hands. They way you smell today, like laundry and baby shampoo and milk all mixed together making the perfect scent.

Can we stay here forever?

Soon you'll wake up and we'll proceed with our day. And these moments that I wish would last a lifetime will fade into memories like all the others. And my heart will break a little more as we're both another day older.

daddy + evvie

February 25, 2016

Right now, Ever is the biggest mama's girl. Jesse gets a little bit sad when she just wants to be held by me, or when she stares at me but won't look at him. I'm soaking it in. Because I know someday I'm gonna be the uptight mom, and he's gonna be the fun parent that buys her ice cream and McDonald's without me knowing.

But this morning, when the little stinker awoke from her morning nap, she was all about daddy, and boy, was he in heaven. He ended up being late to work because of it.

motherhood: not what I thought it would be

February 19, 2016

I've written before about my experiences so far with motherhood. How I've never felt more like I'm doing what I was meant to do. How this has been my purpose all along. How I feel like I'm walking the path prepared for me, and before I was just wandering along.

All that is true.

But there's another aspect to motherhood that I never would have expected. And I try not to go into anything with expectations, because they will never be met. Such as marriage. But it's pretty much impossible with all these subconscious things that have built up your entire life. So going into becoming motherhood I didn't expect to be perfect, but I didn't expect to be the worst, either. I didn't expect to know exactly what I was doing, but I didn't expect to be lost. I expected it to be hard. I expected it to be joyful. I expected to experience emotions I'd never experienced before. And I expected to come to know a love I had never known before. Which, in this rare case, my expectations have been met. The only expectation that really wasn't met was that amazing moment when I first laid eyes on my baby. Everyone said there was no greater feeling, that that moment would shatter me into a million pieces and change me forever. That's not how it was for me. It was all so surreal (maybe I was high on the epidural.. Ha). I felt like I wasn't even present in that moment, though I remember every detail. That's what it was for my husband, he was awestruck when the doctor pulled her out and raised her up. "That's Evvie!" He still says he'll never forget that moment. I'm glad that's how it was for him. For me it came later. About a week, probably, it sank in, and as I looked at my baby girl I wept all the tears in the world because I didn't know how else to express that love. In the moment of her birth, it all happened so fast that I didn't have time to process it all. One second I was just me, the next second I was a whole new person. Which brings me to the part of motherhood I didn't expect. An identity crisis.

Since becoming a mother, I don't know who I am anymore. Yes, I'm a mother. That's who I am. But who else am I? I feel like the person I was before December 19 at 2:30am has disappeared and I have to start back from the beginning in figuring out who it is that I am now. I don't remember that girl that wasn't a mother. But I don't know this girl that now is. It's as if someone took the "me" right out of me and replaced it with a whole new person.

It's as if I was born again at that same moment she was born, and here we are growing up together in a whole new life. Figuring it out one day at a time.

I don't know how to be a mother AND a wife AND my own person. All I know is that I'm a mother. That's the only identity that I can associate with. Everything is different. Trying to balance my relationship with my husband and my relationship with my daughter.

I've cried to my husband a few times now apologizing for being so distant, and trying to explain that all my attention has been on baby. Of course, he understands. Because he's the best. But I don't understand. I don't understand this identity limbo I'm in. I feel like a completely different person.

So here I am, on a quest to figure out who I am, as my former self has disappeared and I have taken on this new identity of "mother" in a matter of seconds, that I thought the 9 previous months would prepare me for but definitely didn't. And I don't think it's a matter of reconnecting with that person I was prior. I'm truly starting from the beginning in creating this new identity.

Thankfully there's one thing that never changes, that fact that I am His. No matter the phases I go through on this journey and the identity crisis' I face. I was lost and now am found. I was blind but now I see. I was bought with the blood of Christ because of His amazing grace to me, even me.

two months of Ever Joy

February 19, 2016

Two months! It feels like it's been way shorter and way longer all at the same time.

It's such a joy getting to know this little girl more each day. We've never been so in love. She truly is the light of our lives, our little sunshine.

Ever loves:

-to smile

-to watch mama as she does things

-her Mam pacifier

-sleeping on mama's chest, and spooning.

-when mom and dad sing silly songs

-taking pictures (for real)

-getting her diaper changed

-our Wildbird sling

-talking

-people

Ever hates:

-baths lately, ugh

-the Nose Frida

-her car seat, still

-and the stroller

-baby wearing, unless I'm bouncing like a madman

-being home all day (me too, baby girl)

Bow by Finn and Olive

Utah in February

February 18, 2016

Ever's second trip to Utah in her two months of life, the first when she was just 2 weeks old. Yes, we're crazy. But she did great both times!

On our first trip, Ever's cousin, Mikey J, who is 16 months old, took little interest in her. He even got jealous when my sister would hold her, and if Ever was nursing, he would force my sister to nurse him as well. This Tim around, he took a lot of interest in her. Right from the get go he was giving her kisses and trying to get her to make that "brrr" sound when you flap your lips with your fingers (how on earth do you explain that in words?). If she was crying, he was very concerned as to why. It was the cutest thing. I can't wait to see their relationship blossom as they grow up together. I hope they're best friends just like my sister and I were and still are.

The men from my parents' church were all going for a ride that Saturday, and my dad wanted Jesse to go with them. They were leaving at 8am, so we planned to hit the road at 12am and drive through the night like we usually do. But we all fell asleep for 3 hours and ended up leavin at 2am, making it so he almost missed the ride. Thankfully, the place they planned to ride was on the way and we crossed paths with them just in time for Jesse to hop out of our jeep and into the buggy with my dad.

The ladies at the church were having their annual tea at the same time. So that's where I was with my mom and my sister.

The rest of the time was spent just hanging out and exploring our little town.

An ordinary Thursday

February 11, 2016

It's daddy's day off. Normally we'll choose a destination we've never been to before and explore our little hearts out. But this morning we got a late start and slacked on planning, so it was a lazy morning. Which is good. Sometimes it's good to slow down, and get much needed rest. Something that is definitely hard for my husband. Before we started dating, all his friends called him "mariposa", Spanish for butterfly. Not only because he's extremely good looking, ;), but because he never stopped going. When I came along, I tried hard to keep up with him, but it took me a while to get used to. And he didn't understand why I was so exhausted. Eventually I became accustomed to the flying life, and any down time we had we found something to fill it with.

As time has gone on, we've slowed down a little. Before, when he would come home from work, he wanted to spend the rest of the night out somewhere, because he didn't want his whole day to be spent working. Now, he's content to relax at home after his workday, simply spending time together.

Today we spent the morning at home, enjoying each other's presence, entertaining the baby with silly songs. Then we ventured out together to get a couple things done at work, where Evvie got lotsssss of attention from daddy's coworkers, got a refreshing drink from a local coffee shop in this 80 degree weather, then spent the rest of the afternoon with his mom and grandma, who we rarely get to spend lengthy amounts of time with. And In N Out for dinner, of course.

Sometimes I need to step back and change my perspective. A lot of the time I feel like the day is wasted if we don't spend it doing something new and exciting. But what better way to spend the day than by simply being together, soaking up each other's essence, getting to know each other even more, being the family that we are.

Ever's moccasins: Gracious May

headband: Finn and Olive

the things I don't want to forget

February 11, 2016

last night as she was laying contently on the bed with me, we looked deep into each other's eyes and I began to sing her the song I sang her throughout my pregnancy, and I cried as I was reminded of the first time I sang it to her after she was born. laying in that hospital bed, my husband sleeping on the couch across the room, lights dimmed, sometime in the morning before the sun had risen, knowing I should get some sleep but wide awake running off adrenaline and endorphins. I held my brand new sleeping baby girl in my arms. it was all so surreal. and as I began to sing that same song.."oh, do you know, we belong together..", she opened wide those big brown eyes and looked up at her mama and gave me a look as if to say, "it was you all along." and it was her all along. these are the things I don't want to forget.

i don't ever want to forget the way her hair gets so poofy after it's washed, just like mine. The way she's all smiles in the morning after her diaper change. The way she watches in awe when her daddy and I kiss in front of her. Her high pitched inhaling squeal when she's happy. Her exaggerated frowny face. The way she sucked on her fingers right out of the womb, forgot about them for a month, then remembered they were there again. How she loves songs in Spanish. Her long blinks when she's smiling. The way her big brown eyes stare straight into your soul.

motherhood is messy, heartbreaking, and just plain hard. but someday I'll look back on all the pictures I took, so blessed knowing I was the one chosen to be her mama. I got to be part of all her firsts, her lasts, and in betweens. God has such a beautiful purpose for this little soul, and I get to be a part of that.